Monday, January 5, 2015



I went to church for the first time in a long time Sunday.  I can count on one hand how many times I attended church in 2014. 

I have been taking care of everyone else and attempting to make his or her lives better that I have been neglecting myself and taking care of myself.  I used to be so involved in my church.  I taught Sunday school and Wednesday night classes, was involved in United Methodist Women and was in church virtually every Sunday.  I don’t know what happened.  I have a plethora of excuses, but that is exactly what they are, excuses.  I simply got lazy.  Saturday night I made the decision that I was going to start taking care of my spiritual health that God would guide me, and everything else would hopefully fall into place.  I have always felt so at home at my church.  It is such a warm and welcoming environment, from the sanctuary to my wonderful Sunday school class.  I have attended another church in 2014, simply because that is where my boys go with their father.  I didn’t like it there at all. 

When the boys and I walked into church Sunday, the warm feeling of home filled me.  All of my senses were engaged and it literally brought tears to my eyes. I saw an old friend of mine sitting in one of the pews, so I decided to sit down next to her.  She was busy writing something down when I sat down next to her.  I simply touched her arm and said “Hello”.  She briefly looked up and said hello back, and went back to what she was doing.  Two seconds later, she looked up with her beautiful smile and told me that her and her husband has just been discussing me last night and how they wished I would come back to church.  I am convinced that it was her prayers that put it into my heart to make some positive changes for ME.  It felt so good to be back in one of my favorite places.  During the greeting, my friend and advisor asked me if this was my New Year’s Resolution.  I told her no, I don’t ever keep my resolutions; this was me taking care of myself.  This is a promise I want to keep.  My boys enjoyed being back in this church and my Justin sang all the songs at the top of his lungs, feeling the music.  After communion, we were sitting in the pew and he turned to me and asked me if I was going to start going to church regularly again, I told him yes.  His response filled my heart with joy and broke it all at the same time.  He told me that he was so happy that I said that, he had be praying for me to go back to church for a long time.  This from a 10-year old.  I could barely hold back the tears during the service and the warmth I felt in my Sunday school class was overwhelming.  It even seemed like our lesson was tailor made for me.  It was about how we can reach our goals concerning our relationship with God and what are obstacles are.

I had lost my way for a while, but I  am home again.

No comments:

Post a Comment

I admit, I am struggling.  My chronic depression has once again reared it's ugly head and brought his friend, anxiety along f...